A while ago I asked you what Christmas traditions you have. One of mine is to go after Christmas shopping for all of my clothes for the year. That's about the only time I have extra cash on hand, and you can find great deals!

There are a few standard things I shop for. A new pair of jeans. A new pair of dress slacks. New socks. New undewear. Especially the socks and underwear. Those things only last a good year anyway, so this is the perfect time to shop.

I hope I'm not getting too personal, but there is one specific style of underwear that I like and I make sure to buy that exact kind each year.
Well this year I was at Macy's in the Valley Mall and found four pair of my favorite skivys. I noticed through the packaging that the band on one of them was a little different than the rest, but though nothing of it. Later that night is when I found my big surprise.

As I opened the package in question, I realized that this pair of underwear wasn't Jockey, but Haines Classic. And not only were they the wrong brand, but they seemed to be really old! They were faded as if they had been lying in the sun.

As I inspected further I was horrified to find out that they were STAINED! They had stains where you would expect to find stains in USED underwear!! There were brown and yellow and red stains!!! GROSS!!!

I thought that I had better call Macy's right away because there was no way they were going to believe me if I had waited and taken them back the next day. So I called their customer service hotline, and four times I was disconnected. Each time I spoke with the operator I let them each know that my stress level was rising. I told the sorted story of my dirty underwear four times, only to be disconnected.

On my fifth attempt I began by telling the operator that I was getting really stressed out. "My stress level is rising . . . I'VE GOT DIRTY UNDERWEAR!!" She politely told me that she was just an outside operator not associated with Macy's, but that she would patch me through. Ooops! I bet she, and the previous four operators had a pretty funny story to tell when they got home that evening. LOL

Well, I returned to Macy's the next day after having gotten through to a floor manager the night before. I brought my dirty underwear back to the register, with the same cashier as when I purchased my soiled undergarments. I picked up two new pair and suggested to the cashier that she give me a deal. I said, "I'd be really happy if we called this even. Two new pair for this one used pair." She told me that wouldn't be right, I would be getting 2 for 1.

I was prepared for that answer. I held up the dirty underwear and shook them as I opened them up and said, "But how often does someone return DIRTY UNDERWEAR!?" There was a gentlemen in line behind me that gave me a very approving nod of the head as if to say, "That's right brother! You preach it!"

It was to no avail. I settled for and even exchange. However, Macy's did later send me $20 in "Macy's Money." My theory is that someone took a new pair of underwear into the dressing room where he exchanged the ones he was wearing for a new pair and replaced the used article on the shelf.

So it got me to thinking . . .